When I was 14 years old, I did not want to get my period. I considered it to be unclean and felt ashamed when I found the red fluid in my underwear for the first time.
I used tampons and made sure I threw the used ones into the trash bin as fast as I could. Part of me didn’t want to see that I was a woman.
Having a female body felt unsafe to me. My body had been abused in the past. I had never learned how to set healthy boundaries and to feel comfortable with saying “no” to a man. These past experiences kept me from fully embracing my womanhood.
It comes as no surprise that my cycles were always very painful. My breasts would swell and start hurting a week before my menstruation. On the first day of my period, I used to have horrible cramps—the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life.
When I was a teenager, I took painkillers to numb the pain. In recent years, I turned away from Western medicine and tried to embrace the pain to prepare myself for childbirth. Continue Reading